I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize