Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
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That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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