I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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