Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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