I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
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after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
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I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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