That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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