Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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