Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize