Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
And the cops told us we were all naked.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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