Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
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Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
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Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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