unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
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It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
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Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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