I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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