I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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