You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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