Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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