I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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