That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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