P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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