You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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