All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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