i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
