here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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