All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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