I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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