Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize