Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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