If i come over, it means nothing
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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