if you like me you must not know who I am
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
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the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
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Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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