Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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