All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize