I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize