My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize