This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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