Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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