id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize