You really coming over, don't trick.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
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Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
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Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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