hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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