Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize