I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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