I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize