11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
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but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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