Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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