I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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