I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize