I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize