just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
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Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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