OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize