I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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