you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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