also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize