just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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